Flirt•ing n : playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest

Walking up to someone and just asking "Will you go out with me Saturday night," will probably get you a "NO." You've made no impression, given no background information, no reason as to why you and worthy of dating. Maybe you're shy, lack the self-confidence or the dating history to know how to "pick someone up." You never know when you are going to meet that someone who sparks your interest. Maybe you already have but let the chance pass you by. Never again, it's time to get over whatever it is that's keeping your dating calendar clear. You need to be prepared to break the ice at any moment.

There are no set rules when it comes to flirting. But when you spot that someone, you need to know the verbal dating dance. There is a balance between saying to much, not saying enough, and listening. Men and women communicate differently, so you need to brush up on their "language." In a mall, or crowded restaurant, sit down and observe the other sex. Listen to the lingo, what they generally like to talk about and their non verbal communication. Sit back and watch TV channels appealing to the vexing sex, Spike TV, ESPN or Lifetime. Think, The Art of War - Know Your Enemy. Notice what they call "entertainment" is slowly causing you to slip into a coma. But learn the speak.

Pick up lines can be funny, sometimes lame, but casual conversation is where relationships begin. When you spot your potential mate, don't be afraid to approach. An effective way to start a conversation is with small talk. Maybe ask for the time, but don't say 'thanks' and run off. Briefly explain why you need to know in a way that invites a response. If you've piqued the persons' interest, they will prolong the conversation. Then smoothly steer the conversation towards your goal. If you are just looking for a short term affair, don't insinuate more. If you want more don't settle for less. But don't be afraid to close the deal.

Be prepared to be approached. Have you heard the saying, you usually meet someone when you’re not looking. Well, it’s true. So be prepared to be approached at all times. Don’t limit your relationship readiness to that one planned night sitting in a bar. Look your best everyday, all the times. Present yourself to the world with confidence, feel good about yourself, others will notice. Fake it if you have to.

You’re going to face rejection from time to time. Don't take it personally. The reason for a failed match with one person may be the reason you make a love connection with someone else. What you may see as a personal weakness, may be what another person is looking for. To have an active social life, you must take the gamble. Put yourself out the there. Use everyday opportunities to practice your flirting skills. Standing in line behind a woman, say something like, "Where did you get those shoes, my girlfriend would love those." The woman is disarmed, you have a girlfriend, you are not flirting with her, and you've got her talking. You're having a relaxed and casual conversation without fear of rejection. Use this time to practice your flirting skills.

Final Tips:

• Concentrate on conversation, not on getting a date.

• Ask specific questions that require more than a one word answer. Then listen intently.

• Remember the persons name. Repeat it name during conversation.

• Make lingering eye contact. Stare just a little to long.

• Playfully touch the person your flirting with. But don't invade his/her space (no grabbing, squeezing, or groping). A casual touch on the hand or rub on the shoulder will do.

• Your job, car, or other material possessions are not aphrodisiacs. Nor should they be your main selling points. You are who you are, not what you have.

• Don't expect more than you are willing to give. Keep up your end of the conversation.

• Give others time to get to know you.

• Know when to move on. If the person your flirting with is not responding positively, move on.